somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
