if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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