I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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