nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
