Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
