my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
