so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I need a beard to bite.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
