apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Two words: nipple clamps
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