i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
