you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
