I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
