just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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