between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
