Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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