2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
