dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
