She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize