I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
