All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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