Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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