Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
