Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
