Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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