He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you still have your period?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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