You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
