He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
