cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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