i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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