kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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