What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
