So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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