It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
