lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
