i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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