Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
