I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize
