just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
