Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
