Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
