i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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