I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
