I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize