bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
