My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
