Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
