she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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