We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
