It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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