hell yes lets make some ravioli
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
