Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am available for nakedness
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
