Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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