i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
