how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You ate ashes out of my bong
how drunk are you?
Several
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
