Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
