Banned from zoo.
Again?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
