we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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