Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
