it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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