the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
