how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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