Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
