he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
wow bdsm is so cute
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