I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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