First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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