if you like me you must not know who I am
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
