I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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