I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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