I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
