today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
