I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
