so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize