The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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