We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She announced her abortion via fbk
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
50% drunk capacity currently
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
