Moan for me like Helen Keller
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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