I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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