she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
