I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
