Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
