Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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