I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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