ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
