forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
pray to the hookup gods
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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