I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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