New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You ate ashes out of my bong
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize