I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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